Friday, May 6, 2016

Being A Captain Is Hard Work

Mother's Day is Sunday and for me it's a time of reflection. Writing had always been a long time dream of mine, but life got in the way. I married young, started a family, and had to help with my husband's business. He was on the road and needed someone to field his calls, so I stepped in, and the business took over my life. It's hard to believe that it all began over forty years ago, in a small kitchen, but it did. The kaleidoscope of my life winks back to me in an array of bright colors and images that flew so fast, I hardly realized time was passing.  It was so busy. You try to hold onto moments, but they flutter away in the winds of our fast paced lives.

The writing started on a whim, this second career born from the grief of losing my own mother. She got sick and her illness invaded our lives. I emerged after her death, angry, shocked, and worn out. You all have heard that my sons dared me to write, and I did. Captain No Beard was my lifeline back into the land of the living. It was the lifesaver thrown to me, that hauled me from the miasma of sadness back into the bright lights of life again.  

Mother's Day is a day to thank your mom for all she's done for you. My mother was the best I'd ever known. I miss her greatly. She always encouraged me to stretch myself, take chances, and never be afraid. Even with her own passing, I could feel her pushing me to explore this new career. She is always the supportive mother.

My children made me a mother. They played as much a role in my creation as a person as my mother. Just as my mother helped shape and define me as a youngster, my children finished the job, teaching me as much as I taught them. Being a mother was what I wanted more than anything in my life. My sons constantly make me reinvent myself, holding my hand as I step into the new realities of a career, whether it's in the business world or the creative one of writing. As I stood behind them for all those years in their childhood urging them to try new things, I feel them behind me, supporting me to fly into the face of excitement without fear. I was there for them, and in kind, they are there for me. They brought me my daughters-in-law who have embraced me with kindness and warmth, showing me the joys of being with "the girls" after years of a stag only atmosphere. I am blessed.

Now, that brings me to the mother of all mother experience- being a grandmother. The unconditional love of my grandchildren. The little hands that caress your face with adoration. The unbridled joy and humor that fills your house when they arrive and stays long after they've gone home. Being a grandmother is like being a mother, only better! 

So, I must take this day to thank for mother for setting up the example of what life was to be for me, creating the road-map and giving me the direction to live my life. I want to thank my children for enjoying the ride, shaping and sharing our time together so that I could learn what I really wanted and be there with me when I find it. While Captain No Beard often laments, "Being a captain is hard work," I want to say being a mother was hard work, but the most rewarding job I've ever known.

Happy Reading,
Carole P. Roman

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