Thursday, May 9, 2013

Happy Mother's Day From Carole P. Roman

In Turkey- Ephesus

I adored my mother.  She was the kindest person I had ever met.  If she didn't have something nice to say, she left it unsaid rather than hurt anyone's feelings.  To her, everybody's art project was beautiful, any meal cooked was delicious, even when she hated it.  She was not just a good sport, but a great sport and I miss her every day of my life.

She passed from lung cancer eight years ago in an aggressive fight against a vicious invader.  She was young, even at 74, and I couldn't wrap my mind around not having her here.  She was my best friend for as long as I can remember and I am sharing this story for that one reason.

My wedding 36 years ago- I thought she looked magnificent!

My Mom always bought me gifts.  Sometimes expensive, sometimes not, old, new, it didn't matter, she decorated my house with bits of her personality so I could rest my eyes anywhere and revisit a memory.

I bought her things as well, but I was always more creative and tried to put a personal spin on it, just to remind her of our special relationship.

She was depressed very often.  Life had been hard for her.  My parents struggled with finances, health issues, family problems.  While they kept the household and the children happy, I knew what she carried on her back.  She was one of those people who couldn't share her load.

The year I was going to be married, I knew was very hard for her.  I was the first chick to leave the nest.  She depended upon me for a lot.  I helped with the housework, chauffeured my brothers, entertained my grandmother who made her home with us.  She never complained, but I knew she was heart sick that I was moving out.

I found an inexpensive Asian jar.  I bought it because it seemed exotic.  Sitting at my typewriter, I wrote up hundreds of memories.  Asking my grandmother to help, we listed specific things that happened at my birth, family stories that made us laugh.  Things to remind the reader of a minute in our life when something special had happened. I took these captured moments and folded them into tiny paper twists and stuffed them in the jar.  Putting a paper band across the top, I wrote- "Do Not Read Unless Emergency"  

Well, she opened the jar and read every last one of my wisps of our fond and silly memories and that jar stayed beside her bed for the rest of her life.  She said it was the best present she had ever gotten. Ever. Period.

Now, as I wake in the morning, I will look at my own bedside and see her jar.  Who knows, in case I need it I may read up on a memory or two.  I guess that's a gift that keeps giving.

Wishing you all a very happy Mother's Day!

With Love And Gratitude,
Carole P. Roman


  1. Very touching. Thank u for sharing such loving memories and emotions. Someone said today "you haven't lived until you'be had a daughter." Your mom was blessed to have you and vice versa. Happy Mothers Day!

  2. Thank you for that beautiful quote. We used to go to the ballet every Wednesday and as I have two sons, I used to tell her I was scared. While I have a wonderful relationship with them and believe me we are close- I didn't have a daughter- who was going to be my special friend? We discussed EVERYTHING! I have been so blessed with daughters - in- law- Almost as if she reached out and put them in my life. I think I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I tell them they are my 'daughters of choice".

  3. Oh Carole, thank you so much for sharing your Mother with us. What a special lady she must have been.
    Peace and Happy Mother's Day to you.
    ~Naila Moon

  4. You have a lovely site here, Carole, and I enjoyed this post. The memory jar is a fabulous idea, and one I may use for my own Mom. I'm blessed to still have her after all these years.

  5. Thank you! You are very lucky to have your Mom.